As I set up my calendar for the month, I select a quote I’ve found that speaks to me. I write it in my planner and leave space below it to capture phrases I hear or read that speak to me and relate to the quote. I found this practice centers me throughout the month, and helps me be more present in my conversations, meetings, and readings. For January 2023 the quote was, “Buy the ticket, take the ride.”

It seemed like everyone in my social media feed hit the new year running. They picked their word for the year. Set a goal or two. Began with dry January and hit the gym with veggies. I on the other hand limped into the year new with a jacked up back. The lack of mobility and protected moves gave me a more guarded stance entering into 2023 – literally. I found however, this this served me well and kept me from getting caught up in the frenzy around me. I did what was right for me. Along the way, here are quotes that caught my attention in January:

• The next horizons live inside ourselves
• So come to the pond or river of our imagination, or the harbor of your longing, and put your lips to the world and life your life.
• Everything will kill you, so choose something fun
• We silence the noise with intuition
• Faith is relaxing
• May your life become a garden of opportunities for happiness
• Leadership is the space we hold for others
• The space between stimulus and response – we can, and must, expand that space
• Audacity returns
• That heavily guarded border between the edge of our own safety and the edge of our dream
• The balance of grace and swagger, of magic and mystery
• I believe fear and action can co-exist
• Got sent help – she sent you.
• Put it together!
• Drop the fear
• Their radiance draws others who’ve grown board with conformity and competition              
• Transient hassles that disturb my core peace
• What will it take for you to stand up for your vision?
• Be around the light bringers, the magic makers, the world shifter, the game shakers
• Courage to carve your own path
• See what you discover
• Radical collaboration
• Everywhere I turn, there I am

It was interesting that I picked this quote for January as a way to jump start my new year. Go all in. My reality was different. Rather than my anticipated participation in Orange Theory Fitness two week transformation challenge – I got dry needled and stretched by my physical therapist. Rather than my scheduled take down of Christmas decorations, we left the tree up another week enjoying the soothing warm glow of the lights into middle of the month. Rather than showing up to my first offsite of the year in my usual facilitation heals and pantsuit, I wore new black sequined Converse high-tops to support my back’s recovery in style, and bringing smiles to the participants.

For a while I felt like I was letting 2023 down right out of the gate. Already falling behind. Then I realized I was caught up on expectations rather than appreciate reality.

I paused and reminded myself that a quote I picked doesn’t define me. That I set the quote, and I can change or reframe it. So, I decided to adjust my thinking about “take the ride” to focus on the ride of recovery.  A ride that I needed and enjoyed, rather than a ride of competition with others. My January ride gave me more time to read, more time to rest, more chats with friends, and more time to move at a pace that was right for me. The lack of pressure to do was delightful.

I’m grateful for a very different January. A ride of rejuvenation rather than roller coaster.

As I set up my calendar for the month, I select a quote I’ve found that speaks to me. I write it in my planner and leave space below it to capture phrases I hear or read that speak to me and relate to the quote. I found this practice centers me for the month, and helps me be more present in my conversations, meetings, and readings. For October 2022 the quote was, “Change your leaves, keep intact your roots” by Victor Hugo.

After doing this mindful quote practice for more nearly two years, it still surprises me how much the quote I pick for the following month rings so true and offers the space for the reflection I didn’t know I needed. Here are quotes that caught my attention in October:

• Permission to adjust
• Pay attention to the invitation
• Faith over fear
• A feast of joy
• What is really true?
• Everything is ordinary and extraordinary
• You were born for a time such as this
• Amplify belief
• The ability to manifest choice
• You will make this change a blessing
• Seeds of awareness
• Allow what blooms to bloom
• What is the expression of what comes through you?
• Cultural humility
• Ready, relevant, and reliable
• You can’t give it if you don’t have it
• Unlikely collaborators
• Whatever is, is welcome
• Walking in an answered prayer

I love that October is my birthday month. The fall aways speaks to me. When I stand outside, breathe in the crisp air, and see the trees’ colorful transformation I feel my most grounded. Like all is right with the world, with me, and I get charged – or rather recharged – for another year of living.

This recharge comes from reflection. The month is a big annual check-in for me based on the simple question: How am I?  This reflective question, conversations with loved ones, meditation, and experiences throughout the month (both professional and personal) brought forward gratitude, restlessness, joy, exhaustion, and possibility.  

In October…

I stepped away from a lot at work… and it was OK. In fact, it was freeing. Stopping the habitual grind and the self-imposed expectations is giving me space to determine what I want to do with my expertise, passion, and gifts. I did (and do) feel a bit untethered but I am getting more comfortable with the open space as I see what it is making room for.

I focused on mindfulness at a two-day conference with a best friend… and found emotional release. As I stepped on to the elevator with my friend following a morning meditation practice, she calmly stated, “I think I had a meditation orgasm” just as a random guy walked on. Awkward silence (with us stifling our laughter) for the ride down 12 floors. As the doors opened, the man calmly turned to us as he walked out and stated with a smile, “I might need to look into meditation” and walked away. I hurt from the delightful laughter that followed. Then later, tears poured down my face as I participated in a meditation with the guide playing his cello as he led us in a body scan. My body shedding its pain, fear, anger, loss, and worry like a tree dropping its fall leaves – making it possible to grow a new.

I shared more candidly and authentically in old and forming relationships… and savored the deeper connectivity real conversations generate. I shared how I was struggling. I shared hard choices. I shared concerns. I shared personal nuggets normally protected till more trust was in place. I asked more personal questions. I listened without multitasking. I re-discovered the core truth that we are all more alike than we ever want to admit. I also savored how comforting it is to connect more personally.

I began each day with a prayer – a whisper to God about those in my world who could use a boost… and loved the feeling of starting a ripple of love in the universe for those I cherish.

The month left me feeling more grounded. My roots intact in solid ground and nourished. It also left me with unanswered questions for discovery in the coming year. And I welcome the journey to come.

As I set up my calendar for the month, I select a quote I’ve found that speaks to me. I write it in my planner and leave space below it to capture phrases I hear or read that speak to me and relate to the quote. I found this practice centers me for the month, and helps me be more present in my conversations, meetings, and readings. For August 2022 the quote was, “Be easy. Take your time. You are coming home to yourself.”

I headed into the month fully depleted in every way, both personally and professionally. I knew I was in a frantic spiral. I saw it and couldn’t stop. Instead, I clung to the upcoming sanctuary of our annual family beach vacation with my parents, brother, and his family. I would let it remove me from the chaos for a full reset. Life had other plans:  everyone in the cottage got COVID and the company I work for was sold. So much for low stress, time away from work. But, finishing 6 books, daily long walks on the beach, and deep calls with close friends are always rejuvenating regardless of the circumstances.

Here are quotes that caught my attention in August that connected to “…coming home to yourself”:

• Don’t let the world happen to you, you happen to the world
• I had to believe I was better than any of the doubts I was feeling. I had to take control of my own narrative and remind myself I’d chosen this path
• Don’t give into your fears, otherwise you won’t be able to talk to your heart
• Sometimes there’s no way to hold back the river
• Failure is the result of a method chosen, and not the person
• If we could all keep our feelings off the table, we’d all be more open to rethinking
• It takes one thought to change the whole outcome
• As long as you are “trying” to do something, you are not “doing” something
• He who has a why can endure any how
• I had earned my place; I was ready
• Whatever you can do or dream you can begin it; Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it
• The most effective way to navigate fear is by facing it; If you use the resistance if will help you rise
• Blinding shocks of the obvious
• Qualified enough
• It’s not part of my job, it’s part of me
• Assumptions are made by fools
• Simply let your yes be yes, and your no, no
• Remember always that you not only have a right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one
• Stop looking at where you have been and start looking at where you can be
• It’s powerful and effective for a woman to be herself
• Every second of the search is an encounter with God

My time away, reading, conversations, and reflection reminded me that I am always home when I am clear on me. Clear on boundaries. Clear on healthy habits. Clear on space as an introvert to rejuvenate. Clear on time with friends to connect. Clear on what I need to be satisfied at work. Clear on what I want out of my life and how I want to show up in it.

When I lose this clarity, a I had on several fronts, I wander into weak spots. I lose my resolve and my good (healthy) habits. I forgot that I am more than my title and feed into other’s career neurosis. I shift from a sense of ownership to survival. I struggle against the undertow rather than float with the natural current.

This month’s quote was influential in giving me a mindset that supported my reintegration post vacation as I seek to reset and fortify the home of me. “Be easy” and “take your time.” Both of which are hard for me as a doer who works in a competitive industry and lives in a fast-paced city. But I cling to elements of this quote as I set up more play dates with friends, block off “purposeful pauses” in my calendar to sit in silence, get back into a steady gym routine, try out grocery delivery, and ignore my personal  to-do list in order to watch the Taylor Hawkins Tribute Concert for 5.5 hours while texting with a bestie throughout and feeling all the emotions from joy to gut wrenching sorrow. Coming home is a journey after all.

On my last day of vacation, I walked 3 miles to the far end of the undeveloped island, sat on a wooden bench that overlooked the sand dunes and ocean, pulled out a notebook from the “Kindred Spirit” mailbox, set my intention for “home,” and wrote this poem:

Change is coming. The waves drive it in. The sand shifts where I stand.

Change is coming. The seagulls cry about it. The nats are pesky reminders.

Change is coming. Beauty abounds. The clouds lay down cover.

Change is coming. The wind breathes in hope. The sun nourishes.

Change is coming. I am here. I am ready.

As I set up my calendar for the month, I select a quote I’ve found that speaks to me. I write it in my planner and leave space below it to capture phrases I hear or read that speak to me and relate to the quote. I found this practice centers me for the month, and helps me be more present in my conversations, meetings, and readings. For July 2022 the quote was, “sit with it.”

I found this phrase in May as part of my listening for that month’s quote, “when you’re nervous about stepping outside your comfort zone, remind yourself:  It feels scary because it’s unfamiliar, not because I’m incapable.”  As I prepped my calendar for July, the phrase kept coming back top of mind. I wasn’t sure if it was to help me focus on less (to sit still) or to take time to get more intentional. But I did know I couldn’t shake the statement.

Here are quotes that caught my attention in July that connected to “sit with it”:

• Happiness cannot be found from great effort and will power, but it is already there in relaxation and letting go
• Choose your own personal legend
• Dream stealer
• The still waters of a lake reflect the beauty around it. When the mind is still – the beauty of the self is reflected.
• Running on automatic
• But what if you try?
• Cultivate mental space
• Reduce the noise and capture the signal
• Are you projecting shadow or light?
• Comparison is the enemy of joy
• The courage to be open to what is here
• It always seems impossible until it’s done
• Be present, be your best, be at peace
• All of us derive security and comfort from the imaginary world of memories and fantasies and plans. We don’t really want to stay in the nakedness of our present experience. It goes against the grain to stay present. These are the times when only gentleness and a sense of humor can give us strength to settle down.
• Your fear is 100% dependent on you for its survival

As I started July, there wasn’t anything specific to sit with but having the phrase inspired me to change my pace at work, at home, volunteering. To try to stop the habitual rushing and just “be” a little more. I tried to multi-task less. I tried to be more present. I tried to pause from the routine. For example, I sat with a young professional with the first 10 minutes of the call being about the value of summer camp and how those experiences helped us in our work life. I sat with a co-worker long after our meeting time ended and laughed more than I have in months. I sat alone, offline, and ate lunch quietly. I sat with a former teammate who reached out in need of mentorship about a job offer.  

Later in the month, it was my turn to sit with a big, unexpected work opportunity. I sat with it alone. I sat with it on paper trying to sort it out. I sat with it with a trusted coworker. I sat with it awake in the middle of night (which I don’t recommend). I sat with it with my boss. I sat with it in meditation and sat with it some more. I sat with the excitement, the fear, the confusion, the worry, the challenge.

The “sit” was needed but not easy. Sitting in your body, your head, and your emotions is hard, scary, and exhausting – but also telling. The reflection helped me move past knee jerk reactions, push back on habit mental responses, and dig in on the opportunity.

And then, one day driving home with the sunroof open, a favorite Indigo Girls’ song came on, Watershed. Hadn’t heard it in years, so I cranked it up and sang with all my heart. “Standing at the fork in the road, you can stand there and agonize till your agony’s your heaviest load. You’ll never fly as the crow flies – get use to a country mile. When you’re learning to face the path as your pace, every choice if worth your while.”

This song spoke to my soul. Validate my reflection. And, in a way, cleansed my palate of rumination. I’m not sure if it was the words, the sun on my face, wind in my hair, or belting it out like their long-lost trio member that did it, but the release was physical. The reflection ended and a key realization emerged. Acceptance.

I accepted that regardless of how the opportunity worked out, things would be fine. I accepted what I needed and where I could be flexible. I accepted what concerned me. I accepted what was out of my control. I accepted I had the skills and support to succeed. I accepted I was done sitting, and ready to do.

As I set up my calendar for the month, I select a quote I’ve found that speaks to me. I write it in my planner and leave space below it to capture phrases I hear or read that speak to me and relate to the quote. I found this practice centers me for the month, and helps me be more present in my conversations, meetings, and readings. For April 2022 quote was “In a world that wants you to whisper, yell!”

An odd thing happened this month… no quotes appeared. I was well into the third week of April and nothing. A blank page below my anchor quote. I was concerned. Had I not been fully present in conversations? Had I not really tuned in to my audible books? Had I been so self-absorbed or on auto pilot that I missed out? But then, as if my quote for the month came to life … I heard the universe yell. I guess I had missed the whispers.

A friend posted the following piece by Irish poet and philospher John O’Donohue. It filled not only my page, but me.

“At any time you can ask yourself:

At which threshold am I now standing?

At this time in my life, what am I leaving?

Where am I about to enter?

What is preventing me from crossing my next threshold?

A threshold is not a simple boundary; it is a frontier that divides two different territories, rhythms, and atmospheres.

Indeed, it is a lonely testimony to the fullness and integrity of an experience or a state of life that it intensifies toward the end into a real frontier that cannot be crossed without the heart being passionately engaged and woken up.

At this threshold a great complexity of emotion comes alive:  confusion, fear, excitement, sadness, hope.

This is one of the reasons such vital crossings were always colored in ritual.

It is wise in your own life to be able to recognize and acknowledge the key thresholds:  to take your time; to feel all the varieties of presence that accrue there; to listen inward with complete attention until you hear the inner voice calling you forward.

The time has come to cross.”

Thinking about my blank page, quoteless, I now realize I was simply standing at a threshold. Still. Perhaps blocking things out. Perhaps recharging my courage. Perhaps hiding. All was muffled before I took my direction. I was isolated so it took a huge quote to reach me – a universal yell.

Then quickly thereafter, I began to see and hear quotes again, such as:

• It’s time to get back to you.
• How can I trust when I have so much doubt?
• Cook by the spirit.
• Good friction.
• The after is the before for the next during
• Walk into your freedom.
• Go where the energy is.
• Let God blow your mind.
• Don’t be bound by the residue of your past.
• Run on and see what the ends going to be.
• Give light and people will find the way.
• Thank God I don’t look like what I’ve been through.
• If nothing changes, nothing changes.
• My soul woke up and I realized I was enough.
• You give power to what you focus on.
• Take a soul wander in the sunshine.

As for my standing at a threshold, I’ll share stillness was essential. The quietness helped me process the old and prepare for the new. The silence let the distractions fall away, both well intentioned wishes and naysayers. It also put me in a holding pattern, stagnant. But as if the universe knew I’d been alone with myself long enough, she sent one more message.

On the last day of the month, I spoke with a friend and former coworker. It was a meeting that had been booked over a month earlier. She asked me one simple question. One that caused the fog to lift and the threshold to appear.  What do you love?

As I set up my calendar for the month, I select a quote I’ve found that speaks to me. I write it in my planner and leave space below it to capture phrases I hear or read that speak to me and relate to the quote. I found this practice centers me for the month, and helps me be more present in my conversations, meetings, and readings. The quote for March was “A word after a word after a word is power.”

While I cannot recall how this month’s quote by Margaret Atwood found me, there was an immediate connection. I’ve always been connected to words. Mom’s bedtime stories. “Where the Sidewalk Ends.” Journals that date back to elementary school. “Are You There God, It’s Me Margaret.” Dad’s sermons. “Angel’s and other Strangers.” High school newsletter editor. “Cold Sassy Tree.” Forensics team (with a fight song!). “Les Misérables.” Communications major. “Cat’s Eye.” TV news producer. “Thorn Birds.” Speechwriter. “Storyteller.” Facilitator. “The Boy, the Mole, the Fox, and the Horse.” Organization branding. “The Outpost.” Digital story telling. “How to Lead When You Don’t Know Where You’re Going.” Corporate leadership. “My Own Devices.” Non-profit board work. “The Book of Awakening.” Executive coaching. For me, words – written, spoken, or sung – matter. Words contain phenomenal power to educate, inspire, and change. Equally so, words can cut quickly and sear in lasting pain.   

Throughout March I collected several phrases that held power for me:

• We can be with this
• Nurturing the soul of business
• The limits of my language are the limits of my world
• Practice is everything
• I felt the ground and took my place
• The Willy Wonka shit-tunnel ride
• A teacher affects eternity
• Being relational
• No Miss America answers
• Good news of the soul
• Life begins at the end of your comfort zone
• Be curious not judgmental
• Unconscious gingham
• Take space and make space
• I am
• You’re going to turn into a novice over and over and over again
• Offer humanity
• Kindness is a way we live out grace in the world
• Choice point
• Be the love you feel now
• Happy accident
• A lesson in impermanence
• The culmination of being
• Boredom is your imagination calling
• We’re all made of strength and struggle
• Stop chasing squirrels
• They wanted to bury us, but they didn’t know we were seeds

March is often a hard month for me… finding the energy to move out of winter. To shake off my slothiness. To push out of the dirt like a daffodil. Then, there was the literal emerging back into life as COVID restrictions changed—balancing my physical and mental health of in-person vs. remote. And then came war where words of disbelief, protest, and prayer didn’t seem to hold power against air strikes.

What helped nurture me back were the words of my community. A very loud, “Hello Emily!” when I walked into the small church chapel at 8:30am on a Sunday morning. The candid “girl chat” I had with a favorite co-worker when no one else joined the scheduled call. The insightful, silly, empowering, slow conversation with a co-worker turned bestie over several hours while consuming cheese, veggies, and dark chocolate. The “go great!” company e-card from a co-worker during our Spirit Week conveying appreciation of my allyship. The safe space a company leader provided when he set up time to connect on my career and spent 75% of the meeting listening. The positive reinforcement I got from my class “learning buddy” as I build my aptitude for meditation. The “woo woo” conversation I had with a co-worker as we left work deliverables behind and focused on life beyond consulting. The funny texted memes that always popped in at the perfect moment from friend and family.

As I think about all these and other words, I recall two suggestions for meaningful leadership that I recently read. First, one author starts every day with a personalized thank you email to someone in his company. Second, another author suggested color coding your calendar to track how often and how much time you spend connecting, supporting, or advocating for people in your organization (or life).

The words people shared with me in March made a difference. They encouraged me. They reinforced good behavior. They got me teary eyed. They motivated me. They comforted me. They made me laugh. They helped me. Their words were power.

How are you using your words in the world?

As I set up my calendar for the month, I select a quote I’ve found that speaks to me. I write it in my planner and leave space below it to capture phrases I hear or read that speak to me and relate to the quote. I found this practice centers me for the month, and helps me be more present in my conversations, meetings, and readings. For February 2022, the quote was “Sometimes the fear won’t go away, so you’ll have to do it afraid.”

When folks ask what I do for a living, I often reply with a smile, “I get people to do things with words and pictures.” Technically, I help leaders, managers, and organizations communicate what is changing and why through storytelling, visuals, and data. My work centers on helping people in the change move from awareness and understanding to adoption and advocacy—bringing the change into being. The irony of my work is that I’m what most would call a last adopter. I joke that I give all my change energy to my clients and have none left for me. Truth is though, I love my comfort zone. I relish my habits. I like the safety of routine.

As I started February, my mind swirled with thoughts of change. Some I sought. Some thrust upon me. Throughout this reflective month I collected several phrases over the 28 days of February:

• Embrace the messiness
• Set your goal. Find your grit. Make your pearl.
• You are a blessed piece of spirit dust
• The only way out is through
• Be authentic, bold, and vulnerable
• Let down. Let go. The world will carry you.
• Your wounded sight
• Collide against illusion
• If I can perceive things in a different way, I can experience things in a different way
• At the core, we’re all whole
• Turn to curiosity
• The freshness of living
• This is the God in you, bow to it
• Be aware
• It’s impossible to be unhappy when you’re grateful
• Please take care of yourself at all times
• You and now are a unique occurrence
• Human changemaker
• The energy of thanks
• Get the hell out, no one is coming to save you
• Be known for the excellence that you are
• Move the damn rock
• Wait for the freshness of the beginning to greet you
• Look for reasons to say yes

Here I am on the other side of the month, as well as the other side of change. Were any of the changes monumental? No. As a change specialist, I know it’s the compilation of many small changes that make the difference and are sustainable over time. For me the change was more about how I showed up in order affect the change I want in the world. So, I stepped forward with my fear.

In an effort to help women in the work force tackle their fears and build their leadership skills and executive presence, I created a 6-week master class. Alone, I loved the class I designed and was eager to share it, but fear curbed my momentum. It delayed me from sharing the opportunity with my network. My own inner whisper of doubt gave me pause. Then I saw the phrases “human changemaker” and “turn to curiosity” and realized that if I was hesitant with 25+ years of professional and leadership experience – how might young 25-year-olds feel? How might they be held back? I could help. I quickly emailed an invitation before fear gripped me again and 10 women accepted!  We start in March.

In an effort to be more mindful and present in a slew of Teams calls each day, I began meditation the end of 2021 with the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) class. It was hard. I didn’t like it. I thought I wasn’t good at it. I didn’t sustain the practice. My resistance to change was strong and prevented me from taking the time to learn something new. I was “should-ing” all over myself. “You should do this daily.” “You should stop complaining.” “You should be able to quiet your mind.” “You should forget about this goal.” Then I saw the phrases, “wait for the freshness of the beginning to greet you” and “embrace the messiness” and I headed back to class to begin again. This time leaving my fear of failure – that I’d never be able to “get it” and sit quietly inside my head – behind. Excited to share, three weeks in, I led my first 10 minute “awareness of breath” meditation to the class and got rave reviews. I took advantage of that boost of confidence before any fear could sneak in and invited several coworkers to a meditation session I’ll lead in March – half accepted! By April, I’ll be a certified mindfulness facilitator in the workplace.

In an effort to build a sense of belonging at work, I’ve focused on how to be a better ally and advocate for DEI&A (diversity, equity, inclusion, and accessibility) by reading, getting a mentor, and hosting “brave conversation coffee chats.” When I facilitated a work meeting recently, someone asked the group why use the word belonging rather than employee engagement. I waited and waited and waited for someone to explain. As a facilitator I held back for someone in the room to respond. Silence. Then I realized my heart was pounding in double time. I was going to have to speak up. I could feel my fear. Fear of overstepping. Fear of explaining it wrong. Fear how I’d be perceived. And then I noted the phrase, “If I can perceive things in a different way, I can experience things in a different way” and I spoke up. I shared several of the stories I’d been told that affected how I perceived belonging. “If I belong, I can wear my hair naturally without judgement. If I belong, I can talk about my partner without concern. If I belong, I can speak freely without having to code switch to fit in.” When I stopped, someone said, “oh that makes sense” and then an African American woman confirmed, “What Emily said is true.” If I’d listened to my fear and remained silent, education might not have occurred. Perceptions might not have changed. I would not have been the ally I seek to be.

What I realized this month is that whenever I stepped into the fear there were supporters there to help me. I never had to overcome fear alone. The power of fear is that it keeps us isolated. Moving into fear brings you closer to a community of encouragement.

What’s your next fear-slaying move? Your support team is waiting.